Self Discovery: My dad and the other guy Goldsmiths*

Ahhhh... what a good night it is for some writing. I am a big believer that to know where you want to go you must first figure out where you have been. So in the next few blogs I'm going to use this writing time to revisit the people and events that have helped me to become who I am up to this point in my life. While there are so very many that have made great impressions on this beautiful little life of mine, there are too many to possibly list. A few however come to mind right of the bat and these are some that I will be exploring in great detail.

They say that for little girls, there is never a hero as amazing as her first. Her dad.

When it came to the dad department, my biological father still illudes me to this day. But despite this very small and insignificant detail, I would say that I hit the jackpot in the dad department. My dad is single handedly one of the greatest gifts I have been lucky to receive in my 23 years on this planet. He came along when I was still fairly young, in the form of a soft ball playing prankster with the occasional temper. And man did he love my mother. From the start I admired him and aspired to be just like him. He was very smart, kind, handsome, and made my mom smile like nothing can to this very day. Immediately I was his daughter. I never had to win him over, we didn't have the whole step dad/daughter issue... and I think that was because we never thought of ourselves that way. I was his daughter and he loved me. That's just how it was.

He has had one of the largest impacts on my life and who I am. Many people can tell I'm his daughter just from the way I act, speak, and the things I like. As a little girl, wanting to be just like my daddy shaped a large portion of the things I am most passionate about. After all, if dad likes them, they most definitely must be the best and most worthwhile things on the planet. From this I have aquired great love for the texas longhorns, ford mustangs, pizza, extra thick ankle socks, nike shoes, mustard, mexican food, blue eyes, sports, and anything spicy. On a deeper level, he also taught me to have great admiration and respect for my mom... someone I loved but often took for granted. He taught me to do things the right way not half assed, "if you put yourself in a bad situation, bad things happen", "do what you have to do now so you can do what you want later", and the more humorous, "if you ain't cheatin', you ait tryin'". I also learned to speak a whole new language from this man that included words such as "racks" (hangers), "coke" (any kind of soda), "spin trim" (weed whacker), and "sher paw" (shar pei). He taught me how to catch pop fly's, that 20 is the best number (followed closely by 24... my parents softball numbers lol :) ), mustard on brocolli is actually good, Def Lepard is amazing, and its never too cold for shorts.

I must say, he was the greatest. Then I became a teenager.

During that time period, poor ol' dad suffered through being the worst, the most unfair, and the meanest. Poor dad. Treading carefully on eggshells each day, white knuckling my presence for he knew that the slightest look or comment at the wrong time in the wrong context would set off the hormonal moody ball that is teenage Jen and start a household assault. No one could escape her wrath. First the little brother, then the mother, and when he stepped in... Dad always got the atomic bomb... suffering most of the emotional fall out for the good of the family (and often, for the very life of my little brother). Unfortunately for Dad, he had taught her very very well how to fight and stand up for herself... little did he know that she would eventually use this very thing to throttle him to her best ability. This is the time period that he imparted another very valuable lesson. Stand up for what you believe, but when the time comes to apologize, be humble and pull out all the stops. Don't say you're sorry for the sake of sorry but because you truly feel remorseful. Strangely, some of my most cherished memories are of those brawls... one or both of us would pull out all the stops and when we did it was always a crushing blow. Afterward, after a little cooling off, one would steal away to find the other (often up to my bedroom where I had thrown shut the door with a rage not unlike a tornado ripping up a tree, roots and all) to apologize. There were tears, lots of hugs, and very important lessons to be learned. He taught me to make things right... to confront problems head on... and that sometimes, conflict is necessary for personal growth and understanding.

Is he smart or what?

Now, at the age of 23, I'm finally getting to an age where I understand the lessons he taught, the value of his words, and, gasp, that I do not, in fact, have all of the answers. I don't even think I've got all of the questions. I'm far off from knowing all that there is to know... but in the Goldsmith spirit of learning... I'm damn sure willing to try.

When he came into my life, he brought with them another great gift... the rest of the Goldsmiths. Since this one is about the guys, we'll talk about Grandma later as she has had quite an influence herself.

Vaughan Goldsmith... aka "Grandpa", is like an older, even wiser, version of dad. I must admit... when grandpa was around, I was princess of the world. I loved visits to Texas knowing that they would be full putt putt golf, naps on the couch, and late Sunday night drives to Dairy Queen. He always has a way of making me smile. He taught me that love and sex are beautiful, wonderful, things (yes... that was an interesting conversation lol), adversity is opportunity in disguise, and an education can unlock any path for you that you so choose to journey down. No matter what I did, or do now, he is always proud. I love grandpa.

Last but certainly not least of the Goldsmith's would be Uncle Chris. Uncle Chris is like that best friend that you never can get enough of. Anytime he's around there's sure to be adventure. One of his greatest teachings was to take in and enjoy all that is around you because life is short. We have done so much together... some of the coolest and most fun family memories have been with this guy right here. Dad's younger brother, Uncle Chris was a bit of a rebel. As he got older he seemed to have a good and well rounded measure of responsible adult and rebellious teenager. Whenever he's around its sure to be a good time. In watching and spending time with him I've learned that its never too late to do something good... never too late to make your life everything you've ever wanted. I can always relate to him and he puts so much into perspective for me in ways that I can understand. Its very obvious that he too has the Goldsmith wisdom.

Well... there you have it. Obviously there's so much more to each than I could possibly ever write. But as I look at my relationships with each of these pivital people, I see how I have grown, changed, and evolved into a better person because of their imput. It's so funny to think of the time we have spent together and look to the future, and all of the things I have yet to learn from them. I look at myself and see the pieces of them that I have taken along, memories we've shared, and lessons I have learned. Their value is immeasureable and the parts of them that have shaped me are invaluable.

I am truly blessed.

Now... what are the guys without the women? Well... those we'll reserve for next time. A girl needs her beauty sleep and there's only so much soul searching a girl can do in one night ;) .

... must be the puppy chow...

...straight from the horse's mouth*

Well... here it is. My first blogspot blog. I have so much to say that I'm not sure where to start! I decided to start writing again as I find it very theraputic and extremely useful in venting frustrations, solidifying dreams, creating goals, and sharing experiences. I hope that as I write we can share something special... that you will be able to reflect, relate, and rejoice with me as I tumble, trip, and sprint down this path they call life. I guess I better introduce myself a little better for those reading who know nothing of the crazy little blonde girl sitting at the keyboard.

I am twenty three and the years just seem to speed up as time goes on. My number one aspiration in life right now is to go back to school and knock it out of the park. I will be attending MSCD in January as a Biology major with an Entrepeneurship (sp) minor all in hopes of one day getting that heart pounding exstatic moment of opening up a letter from CSU's Veterinary program that starts with "We are pleased to inform you...". I have awesome parents... our relationships seem to only get better the older that I get... one thing I'm thankful for as I'm sure I was not an easy teen to get along with lol. I have a significant other (and by that title I mean he is many things that a title can't really encompass as we are a very complicated pair... on again off again for four years) who definitely contributes to the person I am becoming each day. I have learned so very much from him and he's made me a better, tiny bit more frazzled but definitely improved, person. With a cockatoo named Lucee, Tungsten the poodle, Maverick and Zoey the ferrets, Moki and Lasagna the rabbits, and Randy Couture (after the UFC fighter) the beta, I guess you could also say I'm crazy for critters. I think you have to be if you plan on going through all that is the hell of getting into and staying in vet school.

I'm currently a store manager at a national electronics retailer that rhymes with Schmadio Schmack ;) and can say that I have met some truly wonderful and very hard working people there that have inspired me in countless ways. I have amazing friends... we are a touch on the dramatic side but hey... what a boring stew this life would be without the exciting spice of a little drama right? Always loving and supportive, they often are doing one of two things... talking me into or talking me out of trouble. As with anyone, I also have my share of enemies, but luckily for me they are few and far between. I love self help books (though I always giggle when I think of "self help" because I always remember George Carlin in one of his routenes saying "If you did it yourself, you wouldn't need help!! LOL!) and go through at least a few books a week ( thank GOD for the KINDLE APP FOR ANDROID LOL). Chili top ramen, guitar hero, extra thick socks, playing with the fur children, dancing, and motorcycles are a few of my many many passions.

I think that's about all I can really give you up front... I think that as we go along you will make up your own mind and come to your own conclusions about this girl at the computer. Take with you what you will, all I ask is that you do indeed take something with you. Even if all you take is "man... I will never do that" ... then at least I saved you some trouble. ;)

... must be the puppy chow...